I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
