Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
