New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
