dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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