Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
