you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
