can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
