i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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