She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
