you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
