Did you just see the Batmobile???
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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