I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
