thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
