perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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