If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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