dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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