I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
