They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
