Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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