Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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