yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
