you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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