He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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