Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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