i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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