Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize