Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
