why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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