I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"