she smelled like a LAN party
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
