She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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