He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
