i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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