not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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