and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
