drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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