What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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