Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
