Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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