Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
