i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize