I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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