I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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