Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize