took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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