Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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