theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
