I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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