Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
