the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
