I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
