Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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