I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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