Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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