i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dear god my vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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