super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
