Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
