your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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